Saturday, May 28, 2011

Donkeys like dragging people

I don't think I've mentioned the therapeutic riding stable I volunteer at yet. Let's call it the Horseplace.
Funny thing about stables, at least ones that aren't run "professionally", things get very chaotic quite often. In fact, just about every time I go out there, something out of the ordinary happens. Well, maybe not out of the ordinary, since if it happens every time I go out there then it is ordinary......
Okay where was I? Oh yes, talking about chaos. You know, I think I use that word too often, maybe I should say 'turmoil' or 'havoc', or even go all out an say something like 'pandemonium'. A word that is way too long to belong in my vocabulary. But again, I think I'm straying off point.
Today I woke up at six in the morning to catch a ride to the Horseplace, even though when my alarm clock went off I seriously considered throwing it out my window or smashing it against the wall like people do in movies. The point was: I did NOT want to be awake. It was torture just rolling out of bed. Somehow, I managed to pull on a pair of jeans and my boots, chug down some cereal, and hastily brush my teeth in time to walk a block down the road to my friend's house. See, we carpool all the time, and it was one of those days where I was the one catching a ride with her.
After nearly falling asleep multiple times between the walk over, the car ride, and the rhythmic feeding of thousand pound animals, Taylor and I finally realized that we had forgotten the house key. The woman who runs the stable had gone out of state for a wedding and left us in charge, so naturally she gave us a key. Only Taylor had insisted on taking it home and the only other copy was with the hired hand, Steve McQueen. (That's a nickname so don't be alarmed.) So after much bellyaching and grumbling, I summoned the courage I needed to text Steve McQueen for help.
"Could you come by and bring the house key?"
"I thought you had one?" He answered.
"Taylor forgot it."
"......Yeah, I'll be there in 30 minutes."
So of course, we sat and did nothing until he arrived.
Now about this time, I bet you're beginning to wonder where the donkeys in the title come into play? Well that's the thing, it was later in the day that it all happened.
We were sitting in the kitchen, the three of us, Steve McQueen, Taylor, and I. My ride and Taylor's as well were on their way to pick us up, so after much arguing over the fact (and a water fight to settle it) it was decided that she and I were to be head wranglers. So gathering our battle gear, which was basically a rope to lasso them with and a bowl of food, we set off across the property to find the two donkeys that were loose and take them back to their pen.
Now there's something else you need to know about these two donkeys, Domingo and Sassy. One: They're both girls. Mamma and baby. So the trick is to capture Mamma donkey (Domingo) and baby (Sassy. Who's really not that small or baby like at all anymore.) will follow. Two: All donkeys are deceptive. They are smarter and stronger than they appear. Something I thought I knew but definitely had confirmed today.
And three: Well, our donkeys are just plain naughty.
So as Taylor and I approached the two of them, Sassy already heading over to the food bowl, I didn't think twice before lassoing Domingo because I'd done it before. I thought I knew them well enough to predict their every move.

Boy, was I wrong.
The second the rope slid around Domingo's neck, it's like something snapped inside her. She went berserk. And unfortunately the moment she did, I was turning around to make some snide comment at Steve McQueen who was acting as the spectator, and was completely unprepared. She took off and man, literally, took me for a ride.
I was dragged halfway across the property, tripping over everything she intentionally ran me into, and desperately trying to hold onto her.
"Hold on!" Taylor cried, running after me.
"Grab ahold of her!" Steve McQueen yelled, taking off after me too. "Wait...Don't let go!"
"Ah!" I screamed.
I was slammed into a stone wall and a railing, and when I finally felt myself flying forward into a face plant, I let go. Steve McQueen tried grabbing the lasso after I released it, but he was dragged a couple feet and then had to, in turn, let go or risk the same fate as me. We watched as Domingo and her faithful daughter, Sassy, turned into a trail of dust.
Doubling over in hysterics, Taylor and I gave up to the laughter that was racking every part of our body. There were two trails in the dirt from where my heels had been digging in, trying to stop the crazy donkey, and add that to the dismayed look on Steve McQueen's face and there was no stopping us. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard and Taylor didn't look in much better condition, while the whole time our stern faced, hired hand sat with the slightest hint of a smile on his face. It was too funny not to smile.
Lucky for us, the donkeys got the message and we found them waiting by the door to their pen, after we'd gotten ourselves under control and walked back up to the barn. So I guess the whole ordeal had been for no reason.
You can't really top experiences like that though. I can only imagine the surprised look that had been plastered on my face as I was dragged around the ranch. It must've been quite the sight.
So there was my story for this entry, it's not old at all, it happened today. But I guess that's the great thing about life, you can always expect the best day you've ever had to be today. New opportunities rise with the sun.

Today, when my family went to lunch, Taylor came along and I think it's only right that she be the one I quote today. Forgive me if I get some of this wrong:
"Justin Bieber was born in Stratford, Ontario in Stratford General Hospital, in room 112, at exactly 11:56 a.m." (Hopefully I got that right.)
My mom: "That's creepy."
Taylor: "I know right? It's only because of my friends that I know that."
Me: "Just tell me one thing."
Taylor: "What?"
Me: "Was it a boy or a girl?"
To all you JBiebs lovers, my apologies. I couldn't help it.
However I had to give her credit for knowing all that, no matter how creepy it is, it takes effort. So Taylor, you are the star for this entry.
Along with Domingo, my new donkey nemesis.

1 comment:

  1. Thats awesome. She may be your nemesis, but she sure does miss you... Or is that me? Oh heck, what's the difference? We're both stubborn mules!!!! Haha! Don't forget to write! (and it was 12:56 am on March 1,1994!) lol