So of course we both started shouting, "Stand up! Now! Quick! STAND UP!" and since he'd been pouting, it actually took him a moment to do just that. I swear it was like one of those scenes from a movie, where they barely dodge the bullet or just miss getting run over. He got up at the last second.
By then the both of us had run over there and were practically shaking, our hearts beating a mile a minute.
"What were you thinking?" My mom asked him.
"You could've had your pants sucked into the escalator!" I added.
Luke, being the cool kid he is, just shrugged. "So."
"So?" I laughed. "You wanna run around the mall in only your undies?"
His face got a little red then and he smiled, like he still wouldn't of cared, even though it was clear that the horror of the situation had finally set in.
Isn't that often how it is? Not realizing just what's at stake until after you've narrowly dodged whatever it is.
Like when a brother comes barging into your room and you just happened to have put your shirt on in time? (something that happens often in my house) Or when you're about to say something maybe not so nice about someone and they come up behind you just before it leaves your mouth? (close call)
Or my all time favorite, when you barely avoid getting caught doing something you're not supposed to by your parents. These are all "close calls" but in my point of view (especially the last one) they're near death experiences. Just like Luke on the escalator.
Getting caught by your parents is something every kid fears, but I think my parents take it to a whole other level. Well, maybe not my dad.
Let me tell you a little about my mom. She's a little above average height with a thick bush of hair on her head and a smile that crinkles the edges of her eyes. She's tan from working in her garden and probably more tomboy than me. Which is hard to top. Only extremist do.
My mom also possesses the coldest Death Stare I've ever seen. I'm mean, so scary, that it could make water freeze. Add that to her arms-crossed-over-her-chest-you're-in-trouble walk and kids shake in their shoes or wet themselves. In fact, my mother once sent an entire group of boys ranging from 10-18 scrambling for their homes, all because they had run in her garden. It's actually known around the neighborhood now that you DO NOT step one foot in my mother's garden. To do so is to die.
Occasionally we'll have kids come around, who do not know this though and one time in particular it turned out to be quite a hilarious outcome.
I was sitting in our living room that overlooks our front yard and noticed a large group of middle school boys trampling through our yard, squashing plants and flowers. For their own safety, I walked outside onto the porch and simply said, "You know, my mother's downstairs."
They all looked at me like, "So?"
All that is, except Laighton, our next door neighbor and a friend of mine. I noticed that he was standing on the sidewalk, quietly obeying our yard rule while his friends ignored it. However the instant I spoke, he turned and took off for home, sprinting and shouting at the top of his lungs, "RUN!"
In their alarm, his friends followed him and all was well. My mom never had to find out.
Tomorrow is Emma Lou and Nate's birthday, which should be an exciting event. I always found it funny that the oldest and youngest were born on the exact same day, eighteen years apart. We all believe it was a sign that eight was WAY enough. There will probably be a lot of excitement and sugar, which is a dangerous mix, and I'm betting at least one emotional meltdown, but that's life. The ups and downs are always there.
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